Alcoholic
My
father (didn’t everybody’s?) drank—
the
Dread Disease, plague of his generation—
and
we were patient, swallowed down his spite,
and
understood him as he thrashed and sank,
and
all forgave (oh, life means brief duration!)
and
all refrained from saying wrong or right.
We
knew, in dry, bright Oklahoma City,
the
only cure for drink was love and pity.
We
knew the flesh was frail, with delicate breath,
and
so indulged each other into death.
But
when he dared me—cursing me, demanding—
and
shuffling scrawnily down halls of my mind,
sagging
his jaw, speaking with tongue gone blind,
should
I have answered him with understanding?
He
cannot help the things he does, we said.
(He
grinned and snitched a ten and drove off, weaving.)
His
heart, we said, is spotless—but his head
disturbed.
(Late I would hear him, racketing, heaving.)
Years
after he was gone I think I saw
how
we insulted him, drove him along:
His
spirit we called nerves, said nerves were raw,
denied
his holy sanction to be wrong.
The
sonofabitch (God bless him) drank and died
because
we understood away his pride.
Judson
Jerome
From The Village: New and Selected Poems,
Dolphin-Moon Press, (c) 1987.
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